Okay... rant. I'm gonna do this from time to time. I cant stand when woman and men talk about how they hate the opposite sex. Here's the deal...There are indeed not good men out there....and there are not good women out there too. But Men don't suck....and neither do women. That is a broad generalization that drives me nuts.Now I want to address what is really going on but to save from doing he/she or woman/man I'm just gonna use men...but it applies both ways. Here is the real problem:
Somewhere along the road you began to believe that men suck. Sure some do...but if you hold on to this thought for the rest of your life and do nothing to change your behaviors and thought patterns then all men that you come across will in fact suck...Now you might be wondering why you are ever so blessed to come across all these suckfest people. Here's why....at some point you started to believe that relationships look a certain way. That certain way is wrong. A healthy relationship does not look the way you think it does if you continue to date sucky people.How do I know this has happened...because you believe all men suck. Now you can go to therapy and analyze this and try to pin point when and why you believe what you believe...or you can decide to change your views. Yes... I know...change is scary...easier said than done... ooooh shut up!
Changing your views starts with admitting that you are wrong. That you do not know everything there is to know about everything. Surprise... you are not perfect!
Next you need to figure out your priorities...what you like and what you don't like. What you can live with and more importantly what you wont live with. Write them down. Your mental list isn't good enough...because in the heat of the moment that list becomes unimportant. Tell your friends so they can look at the new guy in your life and say, "Hey...remember when you told me you didn't want to date a smoker ....um...he smokes ". Your real friends wont have a problem hurting your feelings if it means it will benefit you in the long run (unless you're that person that cant handle any criticism ever....if that's the case stop reading this...it isn't for you...yet).
This one is mostly for the women but men do this too... Please if you get nothing else out of this at all, please understand this, YOU CAN NOT CHANGE OR FIX A PERSON! THE ONLY PERSON YOU HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER IS YOURSELF! THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOURSELF! Don't ever say ever again, "well...maybe he'll quit for me" Or "That can change" Sure...it could... you're right...there is the possibility that these things may happen...but I can 100% promise you it isn't because you got him to do it. If they change, they change because they wanted to. So if there is a quality about this person that you're not willing to live with, then walk away. Don't lean on the idea of someday or you will always be leaning on that idea.
And last (at least in this blog) Understand that you are worth the wait. Do not settle. You deserve to be treated well...and don't think there are no men out there that fit your qualifications because that's not true. You're awesome right? Well...you're not the only awesome person on the planet...so chances are there is someone out there that fits what you are looking for.
Now stop looking for someone and live your life. Love your life! You only get one after all. It's in those moments that you're laughing with your friends and trying new things that you will find that person and even more importantly...you will find yourself.
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